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Tesco start flogging second-hand cars

Scary supermarket giant Tesco has launched a website selling second hand vehicles.

The Tesco website is now laden with promises to make buying used cars as easy as picking up a dozen free-range eggs, as it allows punters customers to choose from ‘thousands of used cars,’ all carrying big discounts.

All you need do is find your car online, make a deposit of £99, then you receive a 167-point RAC report along with a video of the car and photo gallery. All this you can do without leaving your armchair - or even in bed if you prefer. If you are happy with what you see you can then either collect your new set of wheels or have it delivered to you for a further £149.

Sir Trevor Chinn, chairman of Tesco Cars, added: ‘When buying a used car, consumers want to know they can trust the information supplied, that they are getting value for money and a good product, all supported by good customer service. Importantly they also want to be able to take their time to make the right purchase for them.

‘By marrying these principles, the success of the Tesco brand, and the transparent and un-pressured online sales environment, we believe we will be delivering a positive new experience for today's car buyer.’

And, in a unique marketing ploy, each used car is to be resprayed with the familiar blue and white Tesco stripes, to make the used vehicles stand out on the roads and create a sense of identity and pride among owners.*

*Erm, happy belated April Fools with this last point!

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